I have to put it all behind me, what I've written before. Not interesting at all anymore. Not gonna do it. The form of my blogs ended up choking me...the public forum aspect, the necessary inhibition, eventually doomed the endeavor.
"You are the most ruthless person I've ever met" a "friend" said of me the other day. "Ruthless? You mean reasonable?" I huffed to myself. I realized then (as I have realized before) that I am very different from most of my peers. What I view as analytical, others see as an unrelenting threat.
Speaking of unrelenting, I read a New York Times magazine article today about three men in Colorado Springs who hunted down answers to cold police cases. One man in particular pursued the truth about a man already incarcerated for life. Through his tenacious work, a chilling tale of a serial killer was uncovered.
It was in this article that I learned the word "sisu"...and where I first began to understand something about myself. I just can't let go when the truth is at stake. And neither could the man who solved the case. As it turns out, he is a Finn as am I.
Having never been to Finland (and really being less than a quarter genetically Finn) I would have never guessed what a strong temperamental commonality I have to my ancestors...but there it is.
So what's the solution then? There never was more than one choice. To pen myself in (no pun intended) is to strangle my own creativity.
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About Me
- Sisu
- Since 1809, Finland has fought 42 wars against Russia, and lost all 42 of them. Why did they keep on fighting? What the Finns call "sisu"; a concept of life that says "I may not win, but I will give my life gladly for what I believe." (inspired by Neil Mattson (a 20-something guys web page I stumbled upon).
2 comments:
Sisu truly seems to be a familial concept. We Finns are a stubborn, aggressive, passionate people-creative in every sense of the word. And the Ashlund saga continues.....
So are you really saying that you're done with blogging, or did I misread you? If the public forum aspect causes too much strangulation for you, might I suggest just sharing with selected friends. I always am interested in your thoughts and I'm sure you get some sort of personal benefit in writing down your thoughts and feelings about things. It's one thing to have to get up on a pedestal and give a speech each week. It's another thing to chat at the water cooler. Maybe you need to downgrade to the water cooler. I'll be there. :)
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